Yo dont text me then not text me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
