Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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