Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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