Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
