let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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