Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
