Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
