once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
