Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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