no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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