No stitches, just platelets and will power
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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