Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
