the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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