I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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