Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
