We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
