Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm always down for nudity.
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