her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My dick has a subreddit
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
