Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?