Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock. http://tfl.nu/z9t5
  Replies (18) Good night (4124) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"

  (954): View more from Florida

  Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?" (954): Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall. http://tfl.nu/238l
  Replies (15) Good night (698) Bad night (2838)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7' http://tfl.nu/hrls
  Replies (63) Good night (1156) Bad night (5239)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass. http://tfl.nu/wkll
  Replies (6) Good night (3653) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later http://tfl.nu/x9e9
  Replies (9) Good night (6330) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It usually does with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit (1-717): It usually does with you http://tfl.nu/9ly0
  Replies (6) Good night (4262) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
  Replies (33) Good night (1057) Bad night (2887)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/0wae
  Replies (2) Good night (1625) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god http://tfl.nu/bbiq
  Replies (9) Good night (1538) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ocap
  Replies (7) Good night (1641) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat. (1-916): Can we laminate it? Just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/1wiq
  Replies (4) Good night (2553) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (947): View more from Michigan

  He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (947): He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me http://tfl.nu/9cbm
  Replies (19) Good night (905) Bad night (1719)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot. http://tfl.nu/527s
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this? http://tfl.nu/omqc
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose. http://tfl.nu/98w1
  Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (336)

Randomize