I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
