I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.