Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.