I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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