so explain again why im purple
no
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
