Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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