Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
