so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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