I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
