I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
