Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
