# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was confusing and full of hummus
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
