your thong is hanging out like whoa
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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