I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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