I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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