I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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