Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
