i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Boobs are out for the taking
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
