taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
