ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
