Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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