I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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