Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize