I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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