Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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