How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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