Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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