Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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