Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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