New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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