I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He felt like a one man threesome
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
