I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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