Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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