wrigley field is MILF paradise
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
