Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
