I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
