Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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