glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ladies don't puke and tell
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
