Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
too bad you live with your parents still
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
