I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
