uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
