No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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