Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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