The maid of honor just puked.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
