i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
