Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
