forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
