I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
